After a night of a revellry, a rude awakening softened by myopia, and yours.

TO: Mr. L.
FROM: Mr. D.
SUBJECT: RATS

well, only one.

what a fucking morning. i got up because the alarm was beeping, and i remembered Geena's tale of hearing the alarm for half an hour every morning (presumably from her mom's house). so getting up seemed the thing to do. wrong. wrong. wron . . anyway, i got into the kitchen and every 30 seconds there was a high pitched beeping. i'd hear the beep and turn and start to walk to my room, assuming it was the snooz alarm fucking up. then the beep would stop, and i would turn around and step in cat puke on the kitchen floor. i'd look for a paper towel, then head to the bathroom for toilet paper when the beeping would happen again, so i'd head to my room in case it was the snooz alarm, turn around when it wasn't, and then step in cat puke even worse (not wearing glasses).

finally, after cleaning my feet, stepping in cat puke, and cleaning my feet again, i broke the cycle by ignoring the beep and went into the bathroom to shower. Missy T. got up later and we talked a bit, and then she got in the shower. i put my glasses on and walked to the front door. then i heard the beeping from the kitchen again, turned around, and there was a dead rat on the floor by the water dish.

um. glad i got rid o it before Missy T. put her contacts on!

anyway, the beeping is probably the white phone in the kitchen is askew, so gently straigthen it if it keeps happening. and wear shoes.

listen, tonight i'm coming right from work with some of the xmas album folks, would you mind taking the big packet of chicken out and just leaving it out to thaw around 3 or so? putting it in the fridge won't do it. and also, if you get the chance to make things look a little cleaner as opposed to even worse, that would be a big help, too. i'll do something nice for you, like clean up a couple of dead rats and a headless bird or something.

be careful! wear shoes! you never know what this shit will do to your sole.

TO: Mr. D
FROM: Mr. L.
SUBJECT: Re: RATS

the strange & mysterious sixth sense:
i woke up at like 7:30 this morning
to relieve the ol' bladder.
i walked down the dim hallway and had a very strong sense
that there was something there...

now, i'm not normally the type of guy to be spooked
or believe in something i
wa snot
seeing.

and the same for here,
but i was really conscious of the thought that something was wrong or there was some cat puke in the hall....

I'm gonna close the Kitchen window....
its Spotty who is always turning up
missing at night.

the insidiousness; bugs!
you got the baby rat, i got the littler guys.

The black specks,
those hardened pencil lead tips, the creepy crawlies in
our kitchen: top shelf,
back left corner sat a pleasant commune of flour.
the bugs were positionined all around the top
of their flour
mountain
retreat.

some where philosophizing on their existence.
others were drunk and engorged.
others still laying down a trail of procreative substance (very
creative, non?).
i spotted the leader atop a plume of flour
sprung
from the eternal sack
and politley asked him

(via transmitting brain waves)

if he would kindly depart.

He seemed completely open to the idea.
But then I snatched the whole of it
and dropped it off in the trash.
I assured them that they would be happier there,
no one would bother them, plenty of food forever
and ever and maybe even they
could meet some buggy
(and rodent!)
friends!

TO: Mr. D.
FROM: Mrs. S.
SUBJECT: Re: RATS

ah...so glad I missed all the excitement:

there was a hushed alarm
sounding far away.
got up anyhow and went to relieve myself.
back in my warm bed
I dozed in and out.
heard some commotion,
Carlos was up and about.
but I chose to be late.
what's an hour or two?
stomp, stomp...ahhrrgg.
hmmm.
sounds like foot meeting cat puke.
but sleep swept me away.
until there was a
knock, knock.
from Missy T.

but I saw no foul four-footed or multi-footed nasty creatures...
thank god.

yuck. I saw a bunch of rats on the street yesterday coming home. super nasty. and big. what should we do? (besides revoking the kitties play privileges for not doing their jobs.)

p.s. ma 'n' pa, I have to work late so I will be home late.

p.p.s. uh, you can tell I have no clue how to be poetic...

WHERE CAN I PARK MY CAR IN BROOKLYN?

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