CHOICE VERBIAGE: THE MALE SNIT
by SOME OTHERWISE NORMAL PEOPLE
You don't have to be a full-time asshole to write some awful stuff in an email war. Check out these entries by brothers at a franciscan friary in topeka, KA.
Q: someday maybe you'll assume some responsbility for your actions. be a man, and adhere to common courtesy. don't let me know when that happens, because i will beat your fucking ass to the ground the next time i see you, on principle alone.
A: whatever, dude, you're just cranky. last night was ridiculous. you probably should just stick to mellower living and just go along with others for a while. take a back seat and sleep in the parked car, you're way too stressed and not very cooperative. don't want the "squelcher" back.
Q: let me reiterate: you are not a man. you cannot stand up to be a man. and now i'm going to act like a woman: grow up. just because your dad is a fucking toolwad doesnt mean that you have to be.
i'm sorry it had to come down to this, but i am really tired of being less than a man in MY life. maybe someday you'll see this. maybe someday. until then, good fucking luck because you have never accepted personal repsonsiblitiy, have never acted on courtesy even with friends.
A: what the fuck are you on? i told you things were changing, and that the hallway was off limits, and you parrot it back like you've got a problem with it. but shut the fuck up and go along. why do i have to deal with shit from you? i asked you to keep all your stuff only in your room. so fuck off and get with the program already. how many months have you been assholeing it? now you whine to me about the hallway? fuck off, dumb cunt. the message is keep yer stuff out of the hallway. get it? not ask john to move his stuff, not ask to keep your stuff there. keep your jackets in your locker in the fish room. i'm sick of your fucking attitude and foot dragging in the hallway. where do you get off, dumbass? asking me anything when you have been such an asshole when i asked you to be just a guy who rents one room and move your stuff out of the hall? that's been months of me dealing with an asshole. get it? months and months of shit and refusals from you. just change your attitude and keep my hall clean, and use your locker, and DON"T ASK FOR STUFF, because you don't do what you're asked.
Q: frustrated? you got it all wrong buddy....all wrong....255 bucks for me is NOTHING... i got 16 credit cards and a 60 year lease left on my life. Plenty of time. What's getting me all miffed is that -- well try this: ask anyone, any single person you know what would happen if you borrowed someone's property and returned it broken, regardless of age, endurance, anything. Go ahead -- ask. Ask Dan, ask Frank, Rod, Mike, Jenny (oops), Judy, Jeremy -- anyone. Ask them.
A: are you getting the point? you've fucking dissed me for months by keeping your crap where i've asked it to not be. now you're asking for what you want. so fuck you. you have lost ground, and you'll be eating a size 13 shoe if you mouth off again or keep your shit in the hall or fish room. stupid cocksucker. happy now? you've pushed way too far and been a squelching maryjane. so just keep it shut, and keep your shit out of my space (anyplace but your bedroom) or it will be tossed with impunity. seems i can't ask you anything, only warn you. and if accidents happen, fuck you for being such a pain in my ass.
Q: you are a liar. everyone you talked to might have said "its not your responsibility to get the car fixed" but it would be natural to pay for half, since it was broken in your care, directly rerlated to the activity of you driving and hauling material. john, nothing is your responsibilty. nothing. you have always had issues with this in your life, right? I never went to those session you had with your shrink Jonathon, but c'mon, this has to be an issue you've already gone over, right?
A: fuck off. your tone of voice about "so i have to keep ALL my stuff out of the hall," etc. has been the fucking poison. you're getting the response you have sewn over several months of leaving your shit where it does not belong and subjecting me to some negative tones and words. i'm ready to raise your rent $200 for your being such an asshole tenant. now you want ME to tone down? again, what the fuck are you on?
be a follower with no comments, esp. on the sofa situation, and show me you can be something other than a snide pain in the ass, and i'll be nice. but you have earned a rent increase and 4 months of abuse. so i'm sick of your opinion and tone. glad you're being nice now. but don't expect to see a change in me overnight, cuz you pushed it and pushed it, and then put more fucking shit in the hall.
i better not see your stuff in my armoire in the hallway, either. that's for the nice people. want to join that group? you're invited, but it's a 30 day probation for being an asshole cunt. obviously you are oblivious to how far and for how long you've pushed me. say what you want. it will determine your next month's rent. and don't caution or advise me on anything. i don't listen to dumb fucks who don't listen to me for 4 months. every time i have cleared out some space finally, your shit somehow winds up in it. that's why i can't give 2 shits your picture got destroyed while it was flagrantly where it is not supposed to be. stop fucking with me and i won't be angry with you. but 4 months of your asshole shit has brought you to this response.
fuck your picture and your fucking won't go along with anything attitude. maybe if you cleaned your room and threw some stuff out, you wouldn't be looking to my space for where to put your stuff. i don't appreciate attitude from someone i'm helping out. and you're fucked for giving me any attitude or resistance to my requests about where to put your fucking shit. so help out with the plans of the others in the apartment, and make up for being on my ass. do you still not see yourself at fault for being a cocksucking asshole about how i want the hallway and living room? that's the $200 question. you set the price by making me listen to your whining about "my picture was where it wasn't supposed to be and it got broke," whiney shit. and then the fucking continuation of that bullshit throughout the evening. get in line and follow, and stop giving me trouble.
Date: November 2001
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