1997 FOOL'S FEST

There has to be something said for lazy and shiftless Ultimate players. Unfortunately I just said it: other than that there can only be an appreciative toast to the slack nature of this wonderful sport.

I biffed my assignment to cover the 20th Annual Fool Fest in Fredericksburg, VA. It's the 20th year this fine tournament has been played, longest continually held tournament in the world! And I, a still-green hothead but four years senior the Fest itself, bailed out!

I waffled and harrumphed at my situation as a jobless New Yorker about to face eviction. I hemmed and hawed and finally just didn't make the trek.

Oh, I instantly regretted it. Friday night at 12:30 I hatched a plan to catch a 6:30 a.m. Amtrak to Washington DC and arrive gloriously on the fields at 10:30 sharp. But it couldn't happen. I was unable to secure a ride from DC to VA and had no idea where my team was staying. I finally fell asleep, angry at my sloth.

But I have devised a method to atone for my sins. It's called shuck and shill on my AT&T phone bill.

* * *

The bids were toned down this year. Instead of the usual "anything goes", Chris Hulett and WAFC decided to make the event charitable in order to continue garnering valuable field space. According to Hulett, many tournaments around the nation have felt similar pressure to align themselves with organizations and charitable causes in order to maintain good relations with the community. Hulett and WAFC wisely chose to do the same this year, accepting only stuffed animals for bids and donating the furry creatures to a local Children's Hospital.

But still the slots were few and players from around the nation vied for spots on teams, flying in from Chicago, San Francisco and every city on the Eastern seaboard for the three day gala starting April 4th. Recognizing the historic nature of this 20th such Fools, WAFC added new contests and a Dunk Tank to keep the revelers occupied.

Once again the teams retained their festive flavor. The Dwarves (a team comprised of players entirely under 5'7'' with one 6'10'' fellow) hammered out an impressive roster, adding veterans Ken Dobyns and Brendan Smith. It was decided that Dobyns was truly a qualified candidate for the team when Ken looked up "dwarf" in the dictionary and came up with "a small creature, usually evil, with magical powers." It was then determined that he could play for no other team. Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together on a Field and Grooving with a Disc made an appearance and Princess Lei-Out rode the re-issue wave to victory in Women's Division II.

The return of Triangle-Area veterans Mr. Pouce (a misreading of the original team name Air Police) promised trouble. Captain Andrew Preiss's squad came to Fools looking for a championship in addition to their '92 conquest. Preiss and fellow Duke alum Andy Scheman cobbled together old school (try 1982) Pouce veterans with some 'Burning Ring'ers and a pair of eager Duke undergrads to form Burning Duke of Pouce. According to Preiss, Pouce was "pretty stacked up". Asked if the normal Foolish deterrents might have inhibited the team, he responded "We thought we might actually win so we didn't go out and get sloshed." The fields, however, were not as prudent. Friday and Saturday's fine weather turned to rain on Sunday and might have helped Pouce emerge victorious in the finals.

Perhaps the most important game for the vets was actually played late Friday when Pouce and Force Majeure (Boston's "Snapple Plus") matched up for first place in their pool. Pouce was down most of the game before tying it at 15's on cap point. Majeure made a critical drop on their goal line, allowing Pouce the opportunity for victory. Calmly waiting until stall 9 before calling a time out, Pouce was able to win the game with that final second by flipping a "Hiawatha" (high-release upside-down cross-body flick) for the score.

"The fact that we beat Force Majeure turned out to be a very big deal" according to Preiss. The two-tiered pool system placed Majeure into quarters against the Flying Dwarves, a team "capable of beating anyone." Preiss figured that had the game gone the other way, anything could have happened. What did happen was that the Dwarves were able to defeat the Force in a tough one, 16-14, while Pouce had a relatively easy victory over B & O.

Last year's Fools champions, WesWill, officially became their alter-ego WeSwill after disappointing Friday play and a loss to CRUD in quarters. According to one insider, WeSwill "did not have enough people on the dirt train."

Pouce managed to finish New York's CRUD in semis thanks to consistent play. The game was close throughout as both teams matched up well. Veteran CRUD alumni Skip Kuehn, Dave Coats and Ted Phillips kept the crusty spirit alive, but a few key turnovers proved to be all that Pouce needed. They won 15-11 to advance to the Open finals.

The Dwarves had a much more exciting game in semis against DC's Peggy Cronin's Lunar Ultimate. Down 12-7 with the cap looming, captain Will "Dicey" Healy invoked the power of defense, urging the little men to shut down the handlers and steal discs like they were gems deep in the earth. Led by two major biffs by Dicey, The Flying Dwarves responded in heroic fashion, making consistent layout blocks and squirming through Cronin's secondary. When the game was over the Dwarves were tired but victorious, having run off 7 straight points to win a wild one, 14-12.

On the women's side, captain Melissa Ditz led the Phucking Filly Peppers over old rival Grits Reheated in the finals to win the excellent Fools booty: black discs for all players, a round wooden disc trophy and the first ever silver-plated Fools Cup. According to 'Java Applet' Ditz, Philly enjoyed the competition and was happy to defeat the team that had snuffed their Nationals bid two years ago.

Plays such as Kathy Airey's layout endzone mudslide in semis fired up the oversleeping Peppers squad and propelled them to Sunday's finals. Their easy excuse for the late start was the Daylight Savings Time-Shift Saturday evening, but good money lies on the fact that they were making hard-earned cash with sales of 5 and 10 dollar body shots at the party in a promotional effort to raise money for Worlds. Whether Ditz's fave TV star Lisa Simpson would approve of such methods of fundraising, however, is questionable. But she cannot reproach the Peppers for winning another tournament in stylish fashion.

The weather turned vindictive for Sunday's Open final. After two very fine days of Ultimate, the rains came down and soaked the fields and the Dwarves' spirit. After an amazing run Heaven had turned against them. Burning Duke of Pouce was rested and experienced, while the Flying Dwarves watched their defensive quickness disappear into the mud. Pouce had little difficulty with the weary Lilliputians and defeated them 15-5 to take home this year's Open trophy.

"I knew it would be tough [to win] but I didn't think it would be that ugly" said Dobyns, "We had no energy". Preiss agreed, "The conditions were not perfect for them."

In the end, the tournament proved to be one from the past. Both the Dwarves and Mr. Pouce competed with players that could remember the infant days of Fools in 1981 and 82. Dobyns recalls the intermediate stages in the mid and late 80's when Fools became ultra-competitive and served as a model for the UPA Nationals. But the tournament has successfully returned to its roots with the advent of the Bid process, forcing players from around the U.S. to mix and match with different teams. "Fools is about finding a niche and playing with your buds" says Healy.

"We have plenty of competitive tournaments. There aren't plenty of fun tournaments" adds Dobyns.

Even Steve Mooney would agree. With his team out of the tournament, a veritable torrent of rain in progress and facing an 8 hour drive back to Boston, he stayed to watch his old friends (and enemies) battle it out in the Finals. After all, it was the end of two Foolish decades.

This number proved that tournaments are STARVING for good coverage. I didn't even go to Fool's Fest that year and I still got complemented on the article.

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