1997: CHANGE THE GAME

"Long Posts"

I have read all 43 of the "Long Games at Nationals" Rec.sport.disc posts as a duty to the sport of Ultimate. I do not consider this pleasurable. However, as an investigative journalist I am obligated to sift through the trite and the trivial in order to come up with the juice. My inquiry has spanned weeks of time. Herewith the results:

1) There seems to be an agreement that Ultimate games, in general, can be quite boring. Nationals finals and semifinals are used as an example because a majority of players are no longer playing and have no choice but to watch these games.

2) Numerous different options have been discussed, and many have been implemented in different tournaments around the country.

3) These options predominantly include the following (in order of importance): I) Limiting amount of time to pull II) Limiting amount of time to begin offensive possession of a turnover III) Enforcing a time limit for half-time and time-outs IV) Decreasing argument/discussion time by empowering Observers or Referees V) Using set time periods instead of 'to points' (this can only be done if the previous three are enacted) VI) Initiating a shot clock VII) Changing the dimensions of the field VIII) Starting an entirely new league IX) Starting a new league that plays to 'sets' like Tennis or Gin. X) Adding 'hotties' (aka cheerleaders) to attract attention during long periods of non-activity

4) A careful study of the 43 posts reveal that 26.5 posts (61.6%) favorably mention I, II, and III.

5) Utilizing Eric Simon's 'Usenet Persona to Ultimate Player' (UP2UP) ratio of 1 UP : 211.6 UPs we can determine that these 43 posts reflect 91% of the sport at large. Thus, using a pocket calculator, we can accurately determine that fully _5,606 Ultimate Players, out of a total _10,000 are for the amended rules. This number is enough to pass the vote at _56%, also the same percentage that accepted Canada into Nationals.

6) With these revealing numbers, we should certainly pass a proposal that allows the Board to vote on the matter of bringing the proposals to discussion.

7) A very simple compromise can be implemented in the meantime for all future Nationals' semifinals and finals. Two hoary old veterans with 10 Championships between them have written the following: "Put the 90 second rule between pulls, 2 minutes per TO, and 10 for half and these games will shorten dramatically" and "Let's not forget putting a time limit (10 seconds) on how long a team can take to put a disc in play after a turnover."

8) Knowing that our sport is governed by the players (The Ultimate Players Association being the sport's premier governing body) these suggestions, as posted on the Rec.sport.disc usenet group by players, effectively reflect, as noted above, more than half of the players involved in the sport (56%) and should therefore be enacted by Popular Mandate.

9) The UPA board should adhere to the Mandate and determine the exactitude of these new rules for implementation in 1998 Nationals.

10) The board should work with speed and accuracy, and shall set up a body to enforce the rules changes. A failure to enact the Popular Mandate in time for 1998 Nationals shall be deemed irresponsible and Board members will be removed from duty and placed as special 'Barney' line observers, requiring the wearing of large and stuffy Barney costumes to observe all games at 1998 Nationals.

After 97 Club Nationals there was a deluge of RSD posts concerned with the problems associated with 17–6 blowout games at Nationals and how interminable it was to watch. You think that was bad, try to remember DoG's 21-10 win over Double Happiness to take 94 Nationals. I remember vividly the game of Beer Box I played during the halftime of that match, but couldn't tell you a single play. I wrote this tongue-in-cheek summary of the RSD posts and submitted it to the Newsletter. Two years later they adapted most of these changes to the relief of many.

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