LION OF ISRAEL GOES SHOPPING
a REVELATION as told to JEHUMSPHAT TROY


It being that he has a temp job in a mail room downtown on Wall Street, BROTHER ISHMAEL has called BROTHER SAMUEL, and they have met during the lunch hour to score some new duds down at Century 21.


BROTHER ISHMAEL
I think, BROTHER SAMUEL, that we can start in the housewares section, it being the case that they are having a sale on what the white people call "table cloths" which the black man can use for a tunic or cape.

BROTHER SAMUEL
We can use what the white man calls the "pillow case" to make a fine nubian turban. Brother Lethamuel has made a fine turban that has the Pokeman upon it, and another with small cars that match the insignia on the scabbard of his wooden sword.

(they take the escalator up to the second floor)

BROTHER ISHMAEL
BROTHER SAMUEL. This so-called bed spread will make a fine tent for our meeting. Will you Read The Tag?

BROTHER SAMUEL
25% polyester, 25% cotton . . .

BROTHER ISHMAEL (yelling his interpretation)
THE WHITE MAN HAS MIXED HIS MATERIALS IN AN UNHOLY WAY, AS FORETOLD IN THE BOOK OF JEZEBEL, ONE OF THE SCRIPTURES BANNED FROM HIS BIBLE BECAUSE THE WHITE DEVIL CLAIMS IT WAS WRITTEN IN 1978. Read ON!

BROTHER SAMUEL
Uh, let's see. 25% cotton . . .

BROTHER ISHMAEL
THE WHITE MAN IS AGAIN TRYING TO SELL THE BLACK MAN HIS DIRTY COTTON. IT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM THAT WE ALREADY HAVE A QUARTER COTTON. HE MUST MAKE US WEAR A QUATER MORE! Read ON BROTHER SAMUEL.

BROTHER SAMUEL
Filling not less than 34% manmade fibers. . .

BROTHER ISHMAEL
WHICH MAN? THE WHITE MAN? OR HAS THE WHITE MAN AGAIN DUPED THE BLACK MAN INTO MAKING HIS SO CALLED FIBERS JUST LIKE THE JEWS, WHO CLAIM TO BE AMONG THE TWELVE TRIBES DUPED THE REAL TWELVTH TRIBE OF ISRAEL, THE PUERTO RICANS INTO DOING THEIR BIDDING SHUCKING AND JIVING IN THEIR WEST SIDE STORY THE MUSICAL AND IN THE CLEANING OF THEIR HOMES. THE JEWS ARE THE FALSE TRIBE OF ISRAEL. BUT SINCE THEY CONTROL THE MEDIA AND LOOK LIKE THE WHITE MAN, EXCEPT FOR THE NOSE, THE TRUTH IS BURIED. READ ON BROTHER SAMUEL.


   
** FLASH ** Devil!
Radicchio


BROTHER SAMUEL
Um. Oh yes: Machine wash, Tumble dry.

BROTHER ISHMAEL
THAT IS WHAT HE DOES TO THE BLACK MAN EVERY DAY TO KEEP HIM IN HIS PLACE WHILST HE CAVORTS WITH THE FALSE ISRAELITES AND THE JAPANESE WHO SWITCH THE TAGS FROM THE MORE EXPENSIVE ITEMS WITH THE TAGS FROM THE LESS EXPENSIVE ITEMS TO TRY TO SAVE SOME MONEY.

(Two Jewish women and one Japanese woman in the next aisle look around guiltily and they switch back the tags they had switched.)

BROTHER ISHMAEL
Read ON!

BROTHER SAMUEL
Made in Korea

BROTHER ISHMAEL
I AIN'T EVEN GONNA TOUCH THAT ONE! Let us BUY this "bedspread" from the Jews and the WHITE MAN and move ON!

BROTHER SAMUEL
Amen!

BROTHER ISHMAEL
Let us now find a discount imitation leather desk blotter to make into a belt for Brother Lothar.

BROTHER SAMUEL
Brother Lothar wears only belts made of vinyl. But we can pick up some taffeta for the sisters to make our Egyptian Underwear from.

BROTHER ISHMAEL
Good thinking BROTHER SAMUEL. This SO-CALLED MESH T-SHIRT Sister Urethra has made into my warrior COD PIECE does not HOLD THE BLACK MAN into his own in a comfortable fashion. READ THE LABEL!

BROTHER SAMUEL
This fabric is fire retardant. . .

BROTHER ISHMAEL
THE WHITE MAN IS USING THE RETARDED AS HIS FIREMEN TO KEEP THE ISRAELITES, WHICH INCLUDE THE ANCIENT TRIBES OF JAMAICA AND SANTO DOMINGO NEAR THE OCEAN WHERE THEY WILL NOT BE BURNED AS WE WERE ONCE BURNED IN THE DAYS OF LABOR.

BROTHER SAMUEL
This is true. I, too, was disappointed by the Labor Day sale we attended in Queens. Let us retire ourselves to what the white devils call the Check Out Line to pay the Jewish Merchants their tithe!

BROTHER ISHMAEL
Uh, I didn't exactly get paid yet from this temp job. You got a few bucks?


They take their purchases to the escalator, and the white man's machine takes them DOWN.

 

   
Kung Fu Futurista
Snarkers
 

For Boys Only
JEFF KOYEN

Another Bio
FOUND BY ELEANOR ROOS

Journal Entries
FROM STEVE AND TONY

 

• • •

 

EMAIL ABOUTWHERE CAN I PARK MY CAR IN BROOKLYN?ARCHIVESSUBMISSIONS DIET AD COLLECTIONCOOL! MORE ARTFLASH-O-MATICTODD'S RAMBLINGS REVIEWS THE CROSSED WIRE HOME