Rivative Hangs Its Head Out The Window

2001: KILLA OR THRILLA
a very real discussion between TONY LEONARDO
and ELE ROOS regarding TIM

meandcats2: argh. I am supposed to take one of the guys to the airport in the mornig

Rivative: guys?

Rivative: who?

meandcats2: the 40 year old who lives in chicago.

Rivative: that you met on the internet?

Rivative: are you crazy?

meandcats2: I think so. I am having real issues with all of this.

Rivative: yes. he could kill you. please leave notice with the auhorities before you leave.

meandcats2: do you think he wil?

Rivative: how should i know?

meandcats2: ARGH. have I lost my mind completely?

Rivative: no that'll happen tomorrow. on a strange exit off the Stevenson.

meandcats2: hmm. what should I do about all this?

Rivative: purcahse a Saturday Night Special for 40 bones from one of your juvvies

meandcats2: argh. agh. argh.

meandcats2: you want to see? I can give you the password.

Rivative: for...?

meandcats2: the scary world of Udate

Rivative: hmmm. sounds scary.

meandcats2: yes, it is.

Rivative: hello? ele? are you still there???? i am worried about you!

Rivative: hello???

Rivative: ohmygod!

Rivative: anyone???

Rivative: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH ELEANOR ROOS!!!!

"Dr. Dentons, perhaps?"

"Listen to some jazz"

meandcats2: argh. So, your advice, airport or not?

Rivative: i dont know. what do you think?

meandcats2: hmmm. I say yes, because I did say yes, but you and my other friend have gotten me all paranoid now.

Rivative: who is your other friend? you have other friends? is he a killer too?

meandcats2: no, my friend that I used to work with. I know his mother for god's sake

Rivative: ele. you need to take a hot bath. read a book. preferably one not by bret easton ellis. listen to some jazz, maybe miles davis. Slipknot will not do. gather Moses in your arms and curl up for bed.

meandcats2: yes. but then should I get up and drive some stranger to the airport?

Rivative: dream of soft things, of friends and fun times. remember all the good times you have already expereinced in your life. and will experience again.

Rivative: if you can, remember to water the plants before you doze off.

Rivative: call your parents.

meandcats2: you know, you wouldn't be this nice if I hadn't really gone off the deep end

Rivative: send out a final email.

Rivative: eat all the bad food you want for breakfast when you wake up.

Rivative: because its all ok!

meandcats2: so, can I take the guy to the airport?

Rivative: tomorrow is going to be the last day of your life, so you should enjoy very minute leading up to it.

meandcats2: you think?

Rivative: look i have one question: why does a 40 year old man living in Chicago not have a car?

Rivative: wouldnt it make a WHOLE LOT more sense to meet him at a bar where other people are around??

meandcats2: hmm, he might have a car. I warned him that I might oversleep, and he said he would leave at 8:30 with or without me.

meandcats2: hold on. I am going to send you his e-mails.

meandcats2: okay. I sent them,. there were three

meandcats2: oops. I screwed up. the pertinant ones are the threee from tim bellus

meandcats2: hello? did you read them?

meandcats2: hello?

meandcats2: tony? did you abandon me?

"r u upset Cats closed on Broadway?"

"I have loads of dough"

From: "Tim Bellus"
To: catsarecool@hotmail.com
Subject: My Essays
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2000 15:43:13 -0500

Hi, ele!

I feel soooo privileged to be slowly weaseling my way closer to you. Wow.

Attached are my homework assignments. OK, the site is match.com. You can join free for 7 days. I'm timbearrrr (4 r's), so you can hit on me anonymously. You can't whisper on the site, but it's pretty nice otherwise.

As for tomorrow, it won't take over an hour to get there, and 45 minutes back. I'll let you sleep 15 minutes longer and you can pick me up at 8:15. See, the concept to embrace here is that we get to spend quality time together, but with a definitive end time so we won't feel trapped. If things go real well, I can always place you gently in the overhead bin and whisk you away to paradise with me (so pack a bag, bring you bikini, thong, whatever). If it doesn't go well (like, if you're really hideous which would explain the lack of a photo) you just flip me off as the plane takes off and go back to whispering with the 50 year old married retards from Washington State on udate. BTW, Midway isn't so easy to get to with the Stevenson torn up - so O'Hare is actually easier from Lincoln Park right now. Does that help? What do you say?

When do I get a photo? I feel like I do all the sharing here. Fair is fair!

Tim

From: cats are cool
Sent: Tuesday, September 12, 2000 5:26 PM
To: timbearrrr@email.com
Subject: Re: My Essays

you silly, silly man, When is the last time you drove to O'hare at 8 in the morning? it will take hours and you will miss your plane and then blame me for not making aggressive enough lane changes.

I can't decide if it is very clever and intriguing first date disguised as an anti-date or if you are some pathetic loser who has no friends to drive him to the airport and not enough money for cab fare.

hmmm. I would say, sure, I AM spontaneous, but I have a really bad habit of oversleeping, and I would hate to leave you stranded. honestly.

And you would have to give me gas money.

And I would chain smoke in the car.

And I would be even less attractive than usual, because if I were to get up that early, I would still be in my pajamas.
-ele

From: "tim bellus"
To: "cats arecool" <catsarecool@hotmail.com
Subject: Wake Up Call!
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2000 17:51:05 -0500

Ele,

I fly about 130,000 miles a year (OK, not this year, but the previous 4) so I've made the trip to O'Hare about 900 times. One hour max. Trust in me, Ele, and I shall set ye free!

Not to be a putz, but my perception is that you find excuses for not doing a lot of things (or maybe just things related to me). How about a little intrepid spirit, carpe diem mindset? Seize life by the tail, cat-woman (r u upset Cats closed on Broadway? I saw it and thought it was cool. Sing with me Ele, "Memories, turn your face to the moonlight..."

I would, of course, fund the trip and all the coffee you require.

As for friends and cab fare - I have loads o' dough (not bragging, but I do own a home in Lincoln Park which has appreciated faster than the NASDAQ since I bought it). All of my friends work during the day, except my student-friend Ele. I don't think I'm a pathetic loser, but then I could be in big-time denial. I would think you'd love a guy that can offer you such a fish feast.

And I bet you look great in pjs! Dr. Dentons, perhaps?

OK, I can take a hint, the morning meeting ain't gonna happen. You can't blame a guy for trying! Well, think of me fondly for the next 10 days and don't meet Mr. Right in the interim.

Aloha,
Tim

From: cats arecool
Sent: Tuesday, September 12, 2000 6:09 PM
To: timbearrrr@email.com
Subject: Re: Wake Up Call!

hmmm. actually, I was going to do it. I just felt liking getting MORE attention by resisting.

If you want me to, send me directions that make sense from Lake Shore (Fullerton exit I presume?), and a phone number in case I get lost.

Now let's get down to brass tacks. Do you not have a job? You seem to have far too much free time.

How wealthy are you? If I seduce you will you pay for my education?

But, I am smoking in the car if I have to drive in traffic.
-ele

From: "tim bellus"
To: "cats arecooll" <catsarecool@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Wake Up Call!
Date: Tue, 12 Sep 2000 18:44:32 -0500

You're awesome!

I live at 19XX North Dayton. Phone is 773-28X-XXXX.

Coming from the North you exit LSD at Fullerton, and go to Halsted (1/2 mile-ish, second light) Turn left onto Halsted (a soft left as Fullerton, Lincoln and Halsted all meet here). Proceed to Willow (a light is here. After Armitage but before you reach North Ave.) and turn right (west) on Willow. First street is Dayton, turn right (back north, it's a one way). Proceed almost 2 blocks to 1961. If you hit Armitage you went 3 buildings too far.

From the South, exit at North Avenue/LaSalle. Wind your way onto North Ave to Halsted and turn right (north) to Willow (1st light). Turn left on Willow to Dayton, follow rest of directions above.

I do have a job as an independent health care consultant. So I set my own hours and make enough dough to goof off whenever I want. I'm in the process of starting a "real" job search, so I'm enjoying relative freedom while I have it. I'll let you judge my wealth when you see my house, but I don't bring financial statements to O'Hare!

In terms of your education, I'm all for creative financing. But in general I'm opposed to such arrangements. I hope you understand I get such offers ALL THE TIME and I must be wary! :-D lol. You'd have to be incredible in the sack for me to consider such a thing!

Smoke away, I'll hang my head out the window.

See you tomorrow. BTW, if something comes up on your end (oversleep or whatever), I'll have to leave at 8:30 with or without you - OK?

Tim

Rivative: go meet this guy and report back. i have to go now.

meandcats2: yes. I am not really attracted to tim other than as a friend. he amuses me. bob kinda excites me. you don't think time will kill me?

Rivative: time?

meandcats2: tim?

Rivative: he might.

Rivative: vegas odds are 30 to 1

meandcats2: in favor of killing? then I don't want to go

Rivative: no dummy

Rivative: of not being killed