The first thing I remember about him was the hospital. If I stood on the heater and gripped the slippery slate windowsill, for a split second I could see. Then someone picked me up, either Mary or my dad. I got a better look inside the big white room.

What we were there to see was the baby. The baby was this tiny little pink thing wrapped in a blanket and in this metal cart with glass sides. There were other babies too but we all looked at the one with squinty eyes and folded ears and almost no hair. That was Terrence and he was ours.

Everyone was so excited. My dad smiled so hard he almost cried and the other kids were busy arguing over who Terrence looked like the most. I just thought he looked like a fat little squirmy thing in a blanket.

-Ryan Duncan

***

Some friends recently told us that they are expecting a male child in the next month or two, and are considering the question of whether or not to circumcise. The editors of Rivative, after exhaustive research on the subject (OK, we tire easily) wish to present both sides of this issue. Most men and women recognize the cruelty of circumcision as akin to cliterectomy. Yet there are still some women who prefer the circumcised man. To these women, featured "wrapper" Hoody P says, "It's time to move up to men who live in them Double-Wide trailers in the upscale part of the park. They've all got showers, you know."

To help you, the reader, decide for yourself, Rivative is featuring Hoody P's unbiased tune Bad Circumcision in the popular mp3 format on this very page. Hoody insisted we provide you with the full, uncut version.

Bad Circumcision.mp3, Hoody P, 2001

• • •

Issue: April 29- May 5, 2001

Lost in the CD Changer
MUSIC REVIEWS

Doyle, Part II
BY CHRISTOPHER CURRY

The Real Girl Fight
AN INSTANT MESSAGE

• • •

EMAIL • ABOUT • WHERE CAN I PARK MY CAR IN BROOKLYN? • ARCHIVES • SUBMISSIONS • DIET AD COLLECTION • COOL! MORE ART • FLASH-O-MATIC • TODD'S RAMBLINGS • REVIEWS • THE CROSSED WIRE • HOME