SUMMER SOLSTICE RESULTS: PART 1
from the ANNALS of ULTIMATE
by LUKE SMITH
Seattle, WA
Friday, 22 June 2001
5:00 PM.
Dude; beer?
Sure, thanks. Whats going on this weekend?
I dunno, maybe some climbing or biking. There's some tournament in Eugene.
What's that all about?
It's fun. Pretty good competition. Drives not too bad.
How long?
Oh, five hours.
So if we leave right now, we'll be there, at, oh, 10:00?
Sounds good. Might take us half an hour to get out the door, get some food, and gas.. might as well catch an inning of the Mariners game too.
Good call.
Why's Adam asleep?
He's fasting.
Excuse me?
Fasting.
How long?
2 days so far.
Hey Adam wake up. Why are you fasting?
To stop Tibet's obstruction of Chinese economic expansion.
Good one.
No food at all?
Chicken broth. Tomato soup. Beer.
Hmm. ...
Seattle, WA
11:00 PM
Ready?
Ja
Let's go. Wake up Adam, boy he sure doesn't seem to have much energy.
Seattle, WA
11:10 PM
Man, I think we're going in circles.
Yep, we're headed back down to the lake.
Tacoma, WA
11:50 PM.
Oh shit. Gas lights on.
Tacoma, WA
Saturday, 23 June 2001
12:10 AM.
Aw hell I just got on the northbound exit.
What the F dude. How many times have you BEEN to Eugene?
Not many. Just a few times since I lived there.
Awww. We got a place to stay in Portland?
Portland, OR
2:10 AM
Dude, check this out.
Wha?
Nationals video 2000 finals.
Oh shit dude. I'll watch but give me the remote.
No way are we rewinding it when you catch one.
Any beer left in the fridge?
I'll check. Go get Adam out of the car.
Portland, OR
2:11 AM
Hmm. Strawberry Banana Malt 'kooler' alkoholic beverage?
What is that?
I dunno. Says 7.8% though.
Is that all they have?
Yep.
BS. MF BS.
Yep.
I guess I'm in.
Roger that.
Portland, OR
3:31 AM
Up at 6:30?
Yeah, gotta make the captains meeting to find a team.
Cool.
Portland OR
7:45 AM Saturday
Oh shit. Let's go. Wake up Adam.
Portland OR
8:00 AM Saturday
Dude, you can't turn left there.
Huh. I guess you can.
Shouldn't there be cops right now? That'd be typical. (note the author has elected to NOT put in a lie about a fictional traffic stop in Portland, thrown in just for dramatic effect. Or maybe the author has elected to delete a factual traffic stop in Portland, in case his mom is reading this. 2 truths and a lie?)
Somewhere on I - 5
9:00 AM
Dude, you got to drive...
Me?
I'm about to fall asleep at the wheel.
What about Adam?
He's asleep. Besides, He's had nothing in three days but broth, tomato soup, and beer... so no way. Anyway, my stomach is killing me...
OK, I'm fine
Somewhere on I - 5
9:30 AM
Wow. That sleep was great... whoa you look green.
My stomach is killing me. What did we eat last night....
I dunno, maybe it's all that advil we ate last night...
What advil?
Whadaymean, what advil, you gave me that prescription advil last night...
Uh, that wasn't advil.
<censored>
Part II continues on, with or without the Advil.
• • •
Road Dates: July 12- July 15, 2001
Counting Flies
BY NEIL SWAAB
Doyle: Part IV
BY CHRISTOPHER CURRY
To Be Noble
BY ELEANOR ROOS
• • •
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