JUNE 9, LOS ANGELES–Signaling another step in the gun maker’s fight to avoid costly litigation, Colt Manufacturing Company, Inc., makers of the famous "Peacemaker" six-shooter and the Commando semi-automatic carbine, agreed to a merger with Death Row Records, the Los Angeles rap music label home to musical stars Dr. Dre, Eminem and others. The announcement comes after months of speculation regarding Colt Inc. and several suitors including Colt 45 Malt Liquor (named after the gage specification on the Peacemaker) and Bad Bay Entertainment, the vanity label of rap impresario Sean "Puffy" Combs.

Gun makers have long battled high-profile 'accidental shooting' lawsuits brought to trial by cities and states. Prosecuting lawyers contend negligience on the part of the gun makers who have done little to promote firearm safety. The upshot of the trials has become of major concern to Colt. A nationwide survey has revealed that consumers think less positively about gun companies as a direct result of the negative trial publicicty. Friday's announcement of the Death Row—Colt merger is thus seen as a sign that Colt Inc. is ready to take a shot at changing its public image. Industry experts believe that the cool and entertaining image of Death Row is immensely important to Colt.

Death Row has point blank promised that the X and Y generation, already courted heavily through Death Row CDs, music videos, and urban movies, will take to Colt guns more positively and in fact more entertainingly than other brands of weapons. The new Death Row Colt hopes this change in perception will erase Colt's image as a callous, aloof old-school company with no ties to the entertainment state and MTV's gun-toting demographic.

"Guns are wack in the black community, they ain't what they used to be. But they still blast on the big screen, so we're gonna make sure that Colts are used in all our videos," says Death Row President Marion "Suge" Knight, "Video and movie gats is where it's at these days."

The shift from the law enforcement segment, a traditional Colt market, to rap videos means that Colt guns will start to be seen as instruments of urban entertainment, albeit violent, than as weapons of bodily harm. The distinction is important. Film and video victims of Colt handguns will be more likely to have been "suckas", whereas in the real world accidental shooting deaths and homicides at the hand of cops are much more common but present a much less desirable public image. Death Row Colt hopes that this change in perception will be enough to convince city and state governments that safety features such as cinematic justification will be enough to avoid losses in the costly lawsuits.

Death Row President Suge Knight, who will become the new CEO of Death Row Colt, Inc, has spoken out to convince hair-trigger investors that the new company will be a stable force in the community, "This deal is important to me personally because Colt handguns and semiautomatics have long been favorites in my South Central hood," says Knight from behind bars where he has been serving 9 years for assault, "Now it’s my turn to give back to the community."

Stock market analyst Julia Greenfield sees a hot market for Death Row Colt, "In this deal Death Row Colt gains a great market edge over rivals like Smith & Wesson and Glock. Studies have shown that gun toters and gangs alike are brand-loyal when it comes to choice of weapon. Having Colts in the hands of mostly young, black kids will guarantee future growth."

Critics of the deal, chief among them religious leaders like Jesse Jackson, and film historians like Arnold Blumenthal of the Center for Rap Music and Societal Relations at Columbia University argue that guns in the hands of young black men emulating their entertainment idols is probably not a good thing for embattled minority comminutes. Jackson suggests that the sale was orchestrated by Colt. inc. as a way to increase revenues in urban market segments most valued by hip advertisers. "This is nothing but a move by Colt to get more Commandos in the hands of black men. It is a shame and a disgrace to the black community, and and an affront to all Americans."

Blumenthal laments that the Death Row deal may radically change the way rap music is considered in contemporary America. "Rap music will lose all its idiosyncratic, sub-societal messaging systems. If such underground urban legends like Suge Knight support the notion that Colt guns in Death Row videos means safety, then a vibrant, contentious underground rap scene may be pacified and lulled into submission by the very Capitalist, cinematically adept system it has been subversively attacking through its un-conventional videos and songs," he argues. "These kids will start looking elsewhere for their kicks, and I have a feeling that the pipe-bomb market is ready to explode."

In other words, if guns are cool, then they certainly aren't cool anymore. Industry watchers predict that the hipness of Colt guns in Death Row hands will provide a big surge in killings on Wall Street and Long Beach for five years, but will then be followed by an almost bottoming out of the gun market as kids look to new and cooler weapons of choice.

The merger has yet to be approved by the Federal Government, who is looking into problems of anti-trust, questioning whether Death Row's strong presence among Los Angeles gangs could eliminate competition from other gun makers. However, it is well-known that the Feds like to encouarage minority business ownership, and anything that takes away power from an entrenched Eastern Caucasian elite is by definition good for the country.

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*** ANOTHER LETTER FROM STEVE WHILST IN LONDON ***

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